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all you want.

after a while, you’ll be emptied of your desire to fight all the battles and solve all the problems. it’s not that you shouldn’t do what you need to do for yourself. it’s more like your own persistence and even the satisfaction of winning will lose its lustre. if you’re lucky, you’ll tire of yourself and your small wants. sooner rather than later, you’ll realize that all victories are hollow in the end, and the only peace you’ll find on this earth is in divine grace and forgiveness.

fighting all the time has finally hollowed you out. you’ve lost your taste for blood. and now you’re just a wretch seeking rest. this is how you’ll finally understand that every time you pull a punch, you allow the divine to unfold for you.

do you want your solution to the problem? or do you want the divine’s solution to the problem? it’s up to you to leave it up to God. you must answer when called and you must call upon the light in the dark. only the unknown can save you when you’re done with everything you’ve known. maybe the answer comes once you admit you have no idea what the answer could be; when you don’t want what you want anymore, and all you want is the grace of God.

before you’ve fully surrendered, the imagination assumes there will be a lightness to the experience. but it’s not like that. surrender feels heavy because you finally feel the weight of what you’ve been carrying the moment you realize it must all be set down. and maybe that’s the secret: peace on earth is possible and it happens inside you.