132

nothing else.

does it seem too difficult to soften into this harsh reality and with the people around you? do you stay armored up? are you in full battle gear at the dinner table with your family? on a tuesday conference call for work? they say we must surrender and soften to receive what’s good, but this seems not only impractical but impossible in the heat of battle.

where do we put all of our disillusion and misplaced trust? the hurt doesn’t disappear with time. it’s hard to soften in the same world that made us fight to survive. even as the fire loses its immediacy, the embers of resentment still glow.

maybe we aren’t meant to trust the people around us or the situations we find ourselves in. what if we aren’t meant to trust what we see or even what we feel? what if it’s not about trusting them or it or this? what if we are meant to trust in God, instead? what if the only way to transmute the pain and resentment of “why” is to instead, ask, “what?”

“what is the Creator trying to show me through you? through this? what light am i meant to reveal today?”

here’s the benefit: life is easier when you aren’t worried about whether this person or that person is trustworthy. it’s easier when you know that even if you can’t trust them, even if you can’t trust yourself, there’s divine design in a universe that is still unfolding for you. that, you can trust, if nothing else.