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landing the plane.

what does it feel like to finally land the plane? after lifetimes of seeking and searching, and circling for hours? those that have, say it feels like loving everyone but liking yourself the best. it feels like not having anyone to text you “landed!” retrieving only what’s yours at the carousel and slowly walking yourself home; no car service and no one waiting at arrivals. you hadn’t told anyone you were leaving so no one knew when you’d be coming home, not even you.

and now, walking in the door, eyes taking in your little domestic setup, it feels like “chop wood and carry water” is going to be the vacation. you won’t have to leave to feel like yourself anymore. you don’t have to call or make plans to hang out with the version of you that you actually like. she is you. you’re the only one you want. and that’s what finally brought you back.

you had enough sunrises and sunsets with the people who found you. you looked into each marketplace and museum mirror, and saw every person you used to be. you know all the faces, especially the ones the kept coming back, city after city, under different names. you met everyone where they were. then one day, you finally met yourself. and she told you, “you know you’re already home. go back to your house and wait for what’s yours. new love will find you there, where you belong.”