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let it.

whatever it is that arrives to empty you, let it.

how do you know that’s what it’s trying to do? because you’re crying about it. you’re trying to smoke and shop and drink and use and eat to fill the emptiness inside you. the trick is to remember that it’s not growing. you are. that’s why the emptiness feels so cavernous each time. and you’ve already found that it takes more and more to fill it. so stop trying. all that doing is what got you here. it’s time to just be with it, in it.

exist in your own emptiness. let everything out: all your mistakes, regrets and blessings. these memories of your mistakes and “coulda beens” come up for a visit just as soon as there’s a bit of shame, a younger, lonelier version of you that did the regretful thing, that knows it’s safe now to finally be seen and loved and brought home.

sometimes the feelings don’t announce themselves as clearly. some drift in and linger like a permanent saudade; a sense of something missing and gone forever, even as you know how much is actually so good in your life.

do you know why it’s not enough? because you’re growing. and this perennial emptiness that graces you is showing you just how. the emptiness is not for you to tolerate. it’s a signal to the universe that you’re ready.