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end the bargain.

how do you end the bargain? the pain is local. so the first thing is to try to solve it. you look for the quickest, shortest, surest bridge. all the people, places and things will give plenty of opportunities to solve or numb or achieve. but the timeline doesn’t change.

so you reach for a story, a spirituality, a program, a propaganda. a narrative that reorganizes reality, promises transformation and offers a path. but maximal effort doesn’t seem to reliably transport you out of the old story. and the pain is still local. you’re still you. not fixed. not healed enough. the transaction isn’t going through. and what if it never does? what if “getting it right” just keeps pointing you back to a path that never ends or arrives? what if the path is just the path?

none of your psychology or spirituality or religion or step work can be optimized or perfected into a bargain. you end the bargain when you consent to your role in the dream. when “i don’t know” becomes your prayer instead of the problem.