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the nightmare ends.

they say everyone has two lives. and that the second one begins when you realize you only have one. sometimes you have to live in the old house for a long time, until you can move into the new house. sometimes the home is under active construction during renovation. the uninhabitable reality exists before the habitable one.

but how does the builder lay down her tools? how does the soldier lay down her sword? how does the actor release her role? how does the gardener receive what blooms? how do we trust a tide that has turned? how do you meet the dawn if the night has been too long? how would you even recognize the ship of theseus?

i’m not sure. but it eventually becomes obvious that you cannot change,

receive,

understand,

enjoy,

notice,

participate in,

figure out,

learn from

or live in

… a reality that you’re still running from.