277

in heaven.

in heaven, there’s no one to fear, no one to flatter. no one experiencing themselves as “the good thing” (and you as infrastructure) for whom it becomes your pleasure to be sought after, to serve and soften and listen. no one saying that while 50% dilution is fine, 90% color transparency could be appropriate, at least some of the time.

there’s no one to entertain in heaven. you wouldn’t have to make what you enjoy or what you do and how you think more interesting or more palatable or digestible—just for some company. you are at home with yourself.

no one is looking for you to fix, explain, help, care, affirm identity or carry overwhelm. you can do it if you want to, and they would know that you are how you are because you are special. that the way you give and love is not their reflection; it is an expression of your light. going to heaven marks the end of your usefulness, not because you earned your ticket, but because you always belonged.

in heaven, you would know that God wanted to experience you this way, not to be more or less or different. in heaven, you grow without improving; the striving ends and you can rest in your own existence. you remember that you are the answer to your own question, the medicine for your own healing, and the variable that balances the equation.