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i don’t know how.

i don’t know how to tell you (i don’t know how to tell me) that life is not a problem to be solved. that life on earth —what persists around you and stirs within you— is the only way that a soul learns to surrender. to the humiliations of the body. to the kindnesses and cruelty of man. to the beauty and decay that perfumes the air and haunts us all.

pain triggers logic triggers solving triggers futility triggers humility engenders faith. increasing in order of importance and magnitude. faith is the only way to meet the divine, which exists everywhere and nowhere at once, until the eye opens to see. look around. do you see how life is unsolvable? that’s because life is not a problem. and neither are you. again: if you can’t solve it (and everything you do seems to make it worse) it’s either not a problem or not for you to solve.

if you can’t get there alone, the pain you chose (the pain you choose) will help you. the knot, the tangle, the unending torture, the forever puzzle you have found yourself in, you chose this, whether unconsciously or consciously. you saw it on the menu and you said, “that’s what i need. that’s what it would take. i’ll have that for when i arrive.”

for what, you might ask? and for why? all this, just to see the face of God and build heaven on earth as a mirror image of the kingdom you have carried within you over lifetimes.