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the way back.

how old are you now? is that exactly how long it feels you’ve been walking alone? life gave you some harder seasons but when you look back, you realize … all the seasons were the same. what is the difference, really, between this and that layer of the onion? each a translucent and perfect mirror to the one previous.

those three months or three years you gave to that person or project reflects the exact energetic distance you walked away from yourself over the course of an entire lifetime, centuries past. the five days or five minutes it took you to untangle that knot in this incarnation freed you from bonds formed in a life lived five hundred years before this one. the push-pull that dragged you down to your depths closed a contract you signed generations ago. and this is how you collapse the cosmic distance of every possible exile you’ve ever lived. the arrival feels like nothing else.

in his mercy, God will bring you to your absolute lowest, just to show you there’s no one to meet you there but you. and this is where you find yourself in your own arms. you’ll be laughing in the same darkness that held the sobs of your earlier surrenders. you don’t bargain anymore when you come home. you don’t have to promise to be good. your own energy fills the entire field. and when you know your own face in the dark, you’ll only ever trust your own eyes again. no more hopeful glances into mirrors that waste your time.