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on a budget.

sometimes, the people and places that love you most will put you on a budget. it’s the feeling that you can’t seem to get what you need from them. time, having more patience, having less patience, losing your patience or spelling it out doesn’t seem to do it.

the feeling is a sense of “not enough,” a distinct withholding, and you can’t tell if it’s intentional or unintentional —only that it’s being presented to you— and that you must somehow unblock the flow because it’s not malicious. it can be “fixed.” but how many times do you have to say it? how many different ways will you try to explain? why does it feel like you’re running out of words?

this is because the way they agreed to love you in this lifetime or in this season was to give you love on a budget.

what do you do with love on a budget? you learn to stop begging. you learn to save your energy. you learn to live and let live. it’s the ultimate preparation for love that comes to you freely and completely in all the ways you always needed.

you’re tired of love on a budget? don’t worry. there are people and places that won’t put you on a budget. they’ll come when you’re no longer ravenous. when you can appreciate how it already flows to you so naturally and so generously. when you finally become the version of yourself that could never squander it, chase it away or meet it with anything less than your own humble sovereignty.