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new you.

when you change, everything changes. the things you did to survive will go away or you’ll begin to adjust (to a different experience of or relationship to) them as you learn to thrive.

it must all be learned. you learned to survive and you’ll learn how it feels to finally thrive. it won’t always be what you expect. the body and spirit are in overdrive during survival; everything you’ve got gets pushed to the front, to the top, as you fight for the light. and one day, when you can turn and bless the darkness for chasing you there, you’ll feel your world suddenly stop and fall silent. it’ll feel like a death –because it is one– and this will call for grief. grief for the pain and grief for the ending of that pain.

when you stop running, some of what you had to save for later will come find you – to be felt and seen from the new safety. is it terrible and humbling and embarrassing? sometimes, yes. everything is hard. blooming and dying will shock the system.

it’s ok. you won’t need anything but to be grateful and to allow the space that has opened up to hold (differently) all that came, and to welcome (for the first time) all that was waiting patiently for you to arrive.